So as most of you guys know my car is broke down therefore a friend of mine drives me around ALOT, this friend is not a christian so I haven't been able to go to church lately.
So instead of going to church (cause I can't). I have been listening to online scripture through bible Gateway and also I have been listening to ALOT of music as most of you can tell by my status' and also my links to youtube. So although I am still getting the word in me and the praise music missing the fellowship is definitely the HARDEST thing :(. My heart misses my friends there, I am so lonely lately without them. I even miss the weirdos like John Michael.
On the outside of my body I look like a happy kid who has a life pays his own bills and is trying to make it but on the inside I am lonely for my friends lonely for my church I miss them so much I feel like crying. Now the worst part of it is that I am going to get a car next much so I still have one month of sticking it out :(, but God will provide :). I miss them guys so much.
Me not being there feels like a black hole inside of me that keeps growing and growing and consuming me. The longer I am in the hole the deeper it gets... no where to turn all around me is black. I need them so much :/. The longer I am away the more I long and thirst for fellowship I can't live without it. I need people.
This is one of the reasons I doubt people when they say "oh I am a christian" although I don't attend a fellowship. Without that brother and sisterly love that is at the "church" showing us the ways and teaching us the ways of Christ we can't really understand it all. I mean how am I supposed to show the love of Christ if I don't know what it is and can't see others expressing there love as well.
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